Right I may as well dive right in.
Two days ago, my doctor referred me to a counsellor, and put me on medication for depression. Now, I was nervous about taking the medication, but it seems to be treating me alright, and everyone I've asked about it says it's not addictive, and when I feel better I can come off without side effects.
My problem then is, that I'm really nervous about seeing a counsellor. I haven't even called yet to make an appointment.
I just, I have a problem with talking to someone I don't know. I know I am writing this down now, but I can't see any of you, and I can leave whenever I want, and none of you know who I am, or any of that.
You know, I feel like I've been let down by almost everyone, and I have little faith in people. Why should I trust someone who's just being paid to do a job, which is sit there and nod, and then send me away again?
It took so much to go to the doctor and admit that I couldn't cope on my own anymore, and that something was wrong, and I still sit here and tell myself that I should be able to do this myself, what am I if I can't sort out my own problems?
I just need some advice on what the counselling thing's like. Should I be this worried? Should I go for it or leave it well alone?
I'd really appreciate some thoughts.
Thanks,
h
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I've made a personal discovery this past month and realized that therapists can actually help. Previously, I had felt the contrary. I went to a counselor in my home time, one in SF, and a psychiatrist in the city I live in today. To no avail. However, I just recently found a new tharapist that I really like, and I've realized it can actually help. My first counselor was much like you described, he was not intuitive, and kept patronizing me. However, if you can find the right person, sessions can be very beneficial. Just be honest. That's the really, really tuff part.

I know what it's like to not trust anyone, to feel as if you were betrayed by everyone close to you. I thought I had come to terms with my insecurities years ago, but I found out that I really hadn't. Things got better. I feel that I'm on the verge of a personal breakthrough. I'm not worrying so much about the future. I'm not feeling so upset about the past. I might just live it yet.

prae
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I think you can trust them precisely because they're being paid - they break your trust, they lose their job!

Why should you be able to fix all your problems by yourself? If a friend wanted help or advice about something they were struggling with, you'd give that help and not think any less of them. Why do you expect yourself to be superwoman? I had these sort of questions from the counsellor I saw, who made me see how hard I was on myself. You know what you are? You're human.

You may find talking to someone you don't know actually more useful than talking to someone you do. Your consellor has no preconceptions or expectations of you, they're in a position to be objective and should be able to look at the issues you're dealing with from angles you may not have considered before. What you tell them is confidential, you're not suddenly going to see them in a social situation or have them tell your friends.

Well done with what you've done so far. My advice? Try and take just one more step, and make an appointment.
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I know it's hard to trust a complete stranger.. especially one being paid to listen to you.. because you tend to think that they really don't want to listen to you or help you but that they just want your money. but they really do want to help you. they are there because they love what they do. sure the money is good to have.. they have to make a living somehow.. but they really do care about their patients. it's going to take awhile for you to be able to actually talk to them.. just have patience. no one can sort out all their problems on their own. we all need help sometimes. I really do think you should call and make an appointment. it shouldn't hurt to try. and if you don't like this person, you can always ask to be referred to someone else.
take care..
-Tyler-
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i've been on both sides of the coin. i'm a therapist, and i've been to therapy. basically, i can say that while you may not solve every problem in your life, you can learn so much about yourself. the only way to find out what it's like, though, is to at least try it. if you find you still can't open up, you can either say therapy is not for me, or you can find a counselor that you can trust, mesh, whatever with. you don't always meet the best therapist the first time you go. it's kind of like shopping for a therapist. you want one who is on the same wavelength as you. someone who you can trust and relate to. there is no sense in continuing the relationship if you don't have that.

i think the benefit of counseling for myself was knowing that the person wasn't going to force their opinions on me. they let my own opinions change/evolve naturally when i was ready. good luck and don't pass up this invaluable learning experience.
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Thanks guys, for all your advice, and for being honest. I know that it may take some time to settle in.
It's comforting to know I'm not alone, it really is. At the moment I feel quite by myself. I haven't told many people, but the ones that know are a great help. I just don't want a fuss being made, you know.
On the good side, I will give it a go. I know I have to. It's just getting up the courage like I did with the Dr in the first place. I nearly chickened out so many times then. Guess I just have to be brave, I'll find it somewhere.
Again, thanks so much.
Hugs,
h
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